garbage bag fetish

13 TIPS FOR SURVIVING FOLSOM STREET FAIR (by Davina Darling)

2012 Folsom Street Fair

2012 Folsom Street Fair

The Folsom Street Fair is no soft-core 50 Shades of Grey: the goings on at this celebration of sadomasochistic hedonism would put even Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights to shame! Each year thousands of kinksters flock to San Francisco and fly their freak flag high for one fantastically  indulgent weekend of kink and sexual revelry.

One can expect to see nudity, fisting, creative public humiliation, whipping, human pony’s pulling carts, people suspended in intricate rope bondage, sissy maids, Master’s and Mistress’s proudly displaying their slaves  and every other cardinal sin imaginable. And it’s not just for the gay boys either. There are kinky dominants, submissives, slaves, switches and fetishists of every  gender and orientation.

Veteran Folsom attendee, writer and San Francisco kink scenester Davina Darling offers this survival guide for first time Folsom attendees.

DAVINA DARLING’S TIPS FOR SURVIVING FOLSOM 

1. If you are wearing latex BRING A BACKUP OUTFIT!!! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ripped latex. One Folsom I had to walk home naked as a jay bird, bits out for the world to see holding my ripped latex in my hand like last nights prom date.

2. If you are wearing latex BRING LUBE. Wiggling into un lubbed latex is by one of the hardest and most uncomfortable things I’ve ever had to do. Plus, no one likes a dull outfit.

3. If you are planning on drinking, bring your own booze in. It’s surprisingly easy to sneak in a flask or camel back and that way you don’t have to wait in the god awful lines for a watered down cocktail.

4.  If you are driving in bring a cozy outfit for the car ride home!! It feels amazing after a day of sun and kink to slip into a sweatshirt.

Little Miss Little And Little Mister Little Pageant At Dark Odyssey (Davina Darling pictured kneeling)

Little Miss Little And Little Mister Little Pageant At Dark Odyssey (Davina Darling pictured kneeling)

5. Wear comfy shoes! Trust me I don’t care how fierce they make your outfit look NO ONE is going to appreciate them as you herd through the crowd like cows to slaughter. Your feet will thank you.

6. Bring a purse! Or some small bag to carry your shit in. You will need your cell phone (to find lost drunk friends) a extra lip gloss and a mirror, trust me.

7. Meet a friend who lives in walking distance. Cultivate a friendship for the months leading up to folsom so you will have a nice flushing toilet to visit and maybe a couch to fall on for a minute in between the crowds.

8. Wear sunscreen! Every year without a doubt I am always marked with an awful tan in the shape of fetish wear. It’s not cute, I don’t care who you are.

9. Leave cute accessories at home. No ones going to stop and admire your crazy gloves or parasol and you will end up carrying them around like dead weight. Not worth the effort.

10. Have another way to get home. Every year you see the same sad people wandering the street because they got separated from their ride. Bring extra taxi/bus money (that you will not spend on booze) just in case.

11. Negotiate! It’s so easy to get swept up in wanting to preform for crowds. Ive seen People’s boundaries get pushed far too often for the sake of drawing a crowd. Be respectful while playing!

12. Drink water!!!! Your out playing around In the sun all day in some ridiculous outfit not made for sunshine. It’s just common sense.

13. I don’t care how naked and inviting someone looks ASK BEFORE TOUCHING!!! Even if it’s your thing, being constantly groped by unfamiliar hands get old after a while.

Read more of Davina Darling’s work here:

Webcam “Domination”; Garbage Fetish & Snuff Fantasies Misinterpreted

I use to do a lot more webcam sessions. I think webcamming was My gateway drug into Professional Domination. I certainly learned many skills from being on cam for so many years…. How to weield verbal humiliation like a deadly weapon… How to enthrall a man with the flick of a wrist of the bat of an eye lash. I take come calls on NF and others come through from the ads I place for real time domination all over the U.S. I love international callers though sometimes things are lost in translation… Like the guy who had a trashbag fetish… He kept saying “I want to be stuffed in a garbage bag and thrown away! Let the garbage men take me away!” The first thing I had clarify… “Are the trash bags clean or dirty?”

“Clean” He responded.

I misinterpreted this brief exchange of information to be a snuff fantasy… I had never heard of garbage bag fetish (he liked the 52 Gallon industrial gardener size) so I spun a beautiful snuff fantasy… I would cut him up into a thousand pieces… Stick a knife through his heart and carve him to bits… Toss him into a garbage bag that was leaking blood and guts and let the trash men make the morbid discovery… We webcammed for 30 minutes. He loved me.

It wasn’t until the next time we cammed I learned he didn’t actually want to be maimed and killed. It was more like a latex encasement fetish… I am not sure why he chose to call me back. He was actually a very steady customer. He called Me almost every day I was online. Perhaps he hadn’t understood My words that day either. Perhaps he just loved the way I moved and the inflections of My speech.

I learned so much about different types of fantasies and fetishes through camming. If someone came to be with something I didn’t know I’d jujust do a quick google search and tell them to tell me about their favorite fantasy… People love to talk about themselves and it’s a great distraction while I am googling youtube videos like this one…

GarbageBagBoy (my nickname for him) nearly busted a nut over that video. After that he called Me nearly everday. He would cry about being broke. “Then take out another credit card” I would tell him.

“Yes, Ma’m’… Are you my girlfriend?” He would ask sometimes.

“Yes, GarbageBagBoy, I am your girlfriend.” I would say, knowing that he couldn’t possibly believe it was true.

“Oh, good, because I told my family about you and I showed them your picture.” I can’t possibly know if this is true. If so, which photo of me did he show them!??? In the beginning I would have gently broken it to him that I was not his girlfriend. In the beginning I was kinder and more ethical. The problem is, guys dont’ want an ethical sex worker. They want someone who will cater to their fantasy even if it’s killing them.

Like the guys who do so much CBT (cock and ball torture) that their dicks are limp, flacid and often discolored. Who am I to tell a person what they can and can’t do with their bodies. Some of the callers/webcam clients were so self loathing I would try to give them pep talks… But no one wants a pep talk from a dominatrix. They want to be degraded and made to feel worthless…

What I learned over time, was that this was often part of an act. Like one client of mine who likes to act completly STUPID in our sessions. Or the way sissies often gravitate toward the archetype of the “Dumb Bimbo Slut”. They’re roles that people play but the only thing is when you are dealing with clients who mostly only interact with professionals they’re almost always “In role”. Unlike lifestyle BDSM where we spend so much time making negotiations and talking it out the people paying want to jump right into the fantasy. Why pay $2.99 a minute for talking about limits and feelings?

There is often a misconception that clients have that Pro Domme’s are always “in role”. It’s hard to determine which clients have a little bit more knoledge about BDSM. When they have limited knowledge it’s usually clear. They say things like “I am your complete slave! I am on my knees right now!”. Most of their knowledge about BDSM comes from fantasy fiction written by a lot of other guys who also don’t really know anything about BDSM. Or it’s written by dommes who know how to write to the fantasy.

I like to educate My clients about safe, sane and consensual BDSM but it’s so often not what their expectation is that many claim it “ruins the fantasy”.

I admit in real time sessions I sometimes forget to give a safeword or my aftercare is a pat on the back, a clean towel and a bottle of water…

All in all I think I do a fair job about educating them while trying to maintain the illusion of 24/7 Dominance! I’m not saying that there aren’t relationships in my life that run a 24/7 dynamic but that doesn’t mean we don’t stop to breathe, take a look at one another and check in.

At least I’ve never had a non consensual snuff scene with one of my play partners. I am not sure they would call me again!